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Answering Machine Messages
Here are some wacky messages for your answering machine.
Answering Machine Message Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets. Answering Machine Message "Hi. Now you say something." You have reached 999-9999. We picked this
machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message
on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it
means the machine did not work. Answering Machine Message Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you? Answering Machine Message Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to
suggestions. Answering Machine Message Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for
repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done...
(Cachunk!) Answering Machine Message Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her
tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while
you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. Answering Machine Message This is Judy Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number,
and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal
crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. Answering Machine Message Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message
and I will call you up as soon as I find it. Answering Machine Message I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid
talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out
by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks. Answering Machine Message I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement
printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or
if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and
how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the
Treasury, please ignore this message. Answering Machine Message Hi. I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you. 
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